Pun Fully Intended
by Vonna Plum
Summary: Spacing out in class to a point of drooling is usually not a very good idea. And being 'brought back down to earth' by the cause of all your drooling probably isn't an ideal situation either. Watch out, Here be Sexual Innuendos. Drabble.


**Overall Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything else I mention that is recognizable; eg. Global Warming.  
**Rating:** M For Needless Swearing and Sexual Innuendos.  
**Genre:** Romance/General/Humour  
**Pairings:** Akuroku.  
**Note:** THIS IS A ONE SHOT. Please do not ask for any sequels/continuations/updates.

**Dedication: Loki Lee, Happy Birthday. :)**

**Summary:** Spacing out in class to a point of drooling is usually not a very good idea. And being 'brought back down to earth' by the cause of all your drooling probably isn't an ideal situation either. Watch out, Here be Sexual Innuendos. Drabble.

**Author's Note:** This was originally a-- wait, I won't say it, just in case it ruins your mind images.. or something. Anyway, forget about what I was going to say. I felt like writing something in the middle of the night the day before Loki's birthday, so I did. My inspiration came to me while I was cleaning my room or something, and I stubbed my toe on my desk. So I yelled and said 'Fuck you' under my breath to my desk. And then this plot bunny came to me.. Anyway, I'm rambling.

This is probably the most perverted this I've ever written. All your mind images of me being a sweet innocent fluffy girl have been destroyed as of now.

Also, I think the biggest pain in the ass is that Hayner doesn't have a last name, as well as a majority of the KH characters. Augh! I don't have good naming sense..

**R % R,** (...oh wait, crap, epic FAIL!) (take two)

**R & R, Enjoy,  
V. Plum. **

---

**Pun Fully Intended.**

I have this problem. This massive problem that just won't go away (a little like Global Warming). My problem is... Seifer.

You've probably never met us before (and if you have, don't worry, the 'star-struck' thing goes away over time), so you probably wouldn't know the intensity of our lo-- hate. Utter hate and loathing with a side of cold... hate. That's what I meant.

We fight all the time. But that's not the problem. I, Hayner, happen to be one helluva fighter. Seriously, I may be a little scrawny, but when I'm done with Seifer, he can't walk straight for _weeks_.

...

No, WAIT. That didn't come out right.

What I meant to say was that I would break his leg, or give him a concussion, not pound him so hard--

...

Okay, this is getting awkward. I'm digressing anyway.

As I was saying, the fighting isn't the problem. The problem is that I may or _may not_ (those are the keywords) have a tiny, insignificant, minute... 'liking' for him.

So, so small, that you can just cast it out of your mind and not judge me. Sort of like what scientists did when they kicked Pluto out of the solar system. It's that small. That was cruel, what those astro-people did. Don't worry, Pluto, every small-statured person on Earth is on your side.

...

Have you seen Seifer? Have. You. _Seen._ Him? If you'd seem him before, you would not be looking at me with those eyes that just scream 'DENIAL!'. If you saw Seifer, just once, you'd see me as a _victim_, not a crazy teenager in denial. A victim to his roguish good looks, his amazing lopsided smirk, his mesmerizing body and his--

"You're drooling, Chickenwuss."

... If I die right now, you (whoever the hell you are) are going to be the one to blame.

"I'm not drooling, fuck off."

"You were drooling big time, Lamer. It's still on your face." ... Didn't I tell you that lopsided smirk was ah-may-zing? I wipe my mouth.

"What part of 'fuck' and 'off' do you not understand?" I hiss. That's the fifth time I've spaced out in maths until pass the end of period. I think this one has to be the worst yet, because I'm talking to you (or myself?) in my head. Therapist, anyone?

"Oh, I get the 'off' part. What I don't understand is the 'fucking'. Maybe you could explain it to me." My eyes go wide and I blush profusely.

"Lay off it, you dick. What are you doing here anyway?"

"My detention is in here. What are _you_ doing here? Don't tell me the teacher's pet is in trouble." I let out an animalistic growl of frustration. What is this guy's problem?!

"Jeez, stop making me feel like a douche."

"It's my only source of entertainment though." Seifer tips back in his chair at the desk next to me. His words really piss me off, I'm not some play thing at his disposal! So I stand abruptly, almost knocking over the desk in the process.

"I will _kill_ you, one day." Wow, I didn't know I had the blood-thirst in me to pull that off. Too bad Seifer's unfazed.

"Oh really? How?"

"When one day comes, I will _break_ into your bedroom, and _slit _your _throat_ in your sleep." Woah, boy, time to calm the fuck down. This could end in a massive fist fight. I'm starting to scare myself, too. Seifer stands as well.

"You don't have the balls, because you know that I know that you know that I'll beat the shit out of you before you've even got your pretty little blade out." Seifer always had the hardest glare... If I wasn't so stubborn, this would be my cue to step down. Instead, I step forward until our faces are inches away from each other (damn his height!), and I say,

"Oh yeah?" Ingenius comeback, don't you think?

"Yes. I will. Fuck. You. Up. Hayner." Seifer grins cruelly. I should really stop this, but I hate losing a verbal fight, I was always better at english...

"We'll see which one of us has been fucked at the end of the night, Seifer Almasy." Greatest comeback in... the world...

...

...

SHIT!

"Do you, uh, know what you just--"

"Yep." I squeak, my throat dry.

"Right. Just... checking." This is A-W-K-W-A-R-D. An incredibly tense silence reigns the small classroom.

"Please, let us never speak of this again." I say after a while.

"Okay," I sigh with relief but tense when he says, "One condition." I swear, that smirk on his face is seriously bad news.

"... What is it?"

"You break into my room tonight."

"What?! Why?!"

"So we can settle this once and for all."

"Settle what?"

"Who's fucking who, of course."

"NO. WAY." It's probably dangerous to have my face go this red. Somebody call 911?

"Don't make me blackmail you, Hayner." We stand silent for a moment, Seifer's smirk is confident and I know for sure that Seifer's not lying about the blackmail. I wouldn't put it pass him.

"... Fine." I turn to leave, but I can tell he's smirking as he says to my back,

"Great! I think you'll find that I will be the only one doing any fucking tonight."

...

...

... I may be scrawny, but when I'm done with him, He won't be able to walk straight for _months_.

Pun. Fully. Intended.

---

**This was originally a Seiner fanfic, but I changed it to Akuroku for Loki Lee, because I don't think she's a big Seiner fan. Then I changed it back to Seiner for . This is an Akuroku on livejournal.. =="**


End file.
